Kiana (Ahinahina) - Intraspecies Opinion

“Pass the mulch!” The large pink Paralogos standing directly next to Kiana requested, his sail flickering like a roaring fire.

The smaller, spotted Paralogos on Kiana’s other side giggled. “Tony! You gotta say ‘please!’” 

“Sorry, you’re right. Pass the mulch, please.”

Kiana wordlessly held out the bag of fragrant dirt with trembling hands. They’re too close and too loud and she feels too uncomfortable. But she promised to help pot new plants with the others in the greenhouse today, so she willed herself to stay put until the work was done. /Just take a deep breath. You can do this,/ she thought to herself.

Anthony, or Tony as friends often call him, confidently plucked the mulch from Kiana’s grasp and unceremoniously dumped its entire contents into the large flower pot in front of him. His actions created a large dust cloud that caused the three of them to sputter. Hassi, the spotted Paralogos, laughed even harder between coughs. Her body never kept still when she laughed, and in this proximity her tail kept bumping into Kiana’s. Too close!

“Are y’all having trouble over here?” A citrus-yellow Paralogos peeked around the corner. Ruta wore bright green gardening gloves and held a pair of trimming shears in one hand. She had been in a different area of the greenhouse, pruning the banana plants when she heard the commotion. She placed her hands on her hips and muttered, “I swear, I leave you alone for five minutes…”

“You gotta be more careful, Tony!” Hassi guffawed as the dust settled. She nudged her elbow in Kiana’s side. “You have to do it more gently than that! Tell him, Kiana.”

Kiana did not tell him. The words were there in her mind, but she could not translate her thoughts into any form of communication. Her heart rate quickened as she focused intently on the tools in front of her, not daring to look anyone in the eye. She desperately hoped Hassi would drop the subject.

“Uh, Kiana?” Hassi repeated.

The hum of the greenhouse grew deafening as Tony stopped trying to swipe away the dust cloud from his face and focused his attention on Kiana as well. The little blue-green Paralogos froze in place, hyper aware of three pairs of eyes trained on her person, awaiting her answer. The walls of the greenhouse seemed to bend inwards onto her, threatening to bury her in a crumpled heap of plastic and steel. She felt trapped, sitting at the little plastic benchtop in front of a clay flowering pot, pinned down under Tony’s large frame and restrained by Hassi’s long tail.

She couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe. Tears started forming at the corners of her eyes. It’s too much!

Ruta tutted and set down her shears. She placed a hand on Kiana’s shoulders, who flinched upon the contact.

“Let’s take a break, dear,” Ruta told her kindly. “Come now, we’ll go get you some fresh air.”

Kiana’s stiff muscles made it difficult to walk, but as her anxiety-ridden mind realized she was heading for the door and away from the judging eyes of her peers, she picked up the pace and practically sprinted out of the greenhouse.

With the wide open sky above her and the property fence lines off in the horizon, Kiana finally felt she had enough room to breathe. The farm property consisted mostly of crop fields, with the farmhouse and greenhouse situated closer to the entrance and adjacent highway. She plodded over to one of the fields and sat in front of some of the sprouting bushes. From here, she could watch the leaves sway in the breeze, hear pollinating insects gently buzz around her. She could finally calm down and feel at ease.

A rustling noise caught Kiana’s attention. She turned to find Lír, a white Paralogos with a unicorn horn for a crest, gathering ripe berries in his basket. The two made eye contact, but he remained silent and turned back towards his task. She watched him work, completely comfortable in his presence.

Lír was Kiana’s favorite. Although he wasn’t shy like her, he still didn’t talk much, simply because he didn’t want to. The others seemingly always needed to be in some sort of conversation; but with Lír, Kiana never felt pressured to speak. The two hardly conversed at all, instead preferring to enjoy each other’s quiet company. Kiana often sought him out when she felt overwhelmed.

Some time later, Lír returned to Kiana and offered her a bite from his harvest. Tartness and sweetness burst on her tongue - the berries were delicious. She gave him a small smile, but his attention focused over her shoulder.

“They want to talk to you,” he stated.

Kiana followed his gaze to see Tony, Hassi, and Ruta walking in her direction. She gave Lír a nervous look and wrung her hands.

“Let’s hear them out,” Lír proposed. “I don’t think they’re angry.”

Kiana anxiously watched as the three Paralogos approached them. Hassi, a normally bubbly and chipper Paralogos, looked dejected with her tail dragged pathetically behind her. Tony also looked uncomfortable, while Ruta had a kind smile on her face.

Ever the leader, Tony stepped up first to speak.

“Kiana, we’re sorry for scaring you,” he announced sincerely. “And I’m sorry for not noticing your discomfort sooner.”

“I’ll never put you on the spot again!!” Hassi wailed. “Please don’t be mad at us. Ruta told us how you were feeling. We didn’t mean it!”

Kiana almost laughed out loud. This whole time she thought her friends were angry with her for her anxiety condition, not the other way around! Lír gave her a wink.

As Hassi hid her face in shame, Kiana gave her a light hug. Hassi squeaked in surprise, her tail shimmying in delight as she hugged her friend back.

“Let’s go back to the greenhouse,” Kiana decided, her quiet voice strong and unwavering. “So I can show Tony how to pot plants properly.” Tony’s furrow finally disappeared, and the five Paralogos returned to the greenhouse in good spirits.